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Tuesday 11 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Met Mah Girlfriend's Father 4 The First Time; He Asked Me To Explain Mah Interest In Dating Her . In A Mix Of Me Trying To Say "I Want To Be With Yur Daughter" An "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter's Life" I Got Confused An Said, "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter." Real FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

at a Christmas party , crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response stupid brain could think of was , "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (12895)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frigtend, I tappd on te glass. He got scard and startd swimming again. My best friend is a fis.

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (6308)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Taday "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on mah iPod... I checked and found I had bought thehole $17.00 album in mah sleep. This is the second time this month; the frst time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (5802)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, Some Beefd-up Guy Wearing A Wife-beater Sat In Restaurant, Took Out A Big Sack Of Coins, And Playd My Little Pony Songs On The Jukebox Fir 4 Hours Straight. I Couldn't Summon The Courage To Tell Him To Leave.

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (5262)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball!! I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight!! I'm still trying to figure out what happened!! FML

#20403784
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. mega FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (8608)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store . He saw me and started walking towards me . I got so excited that I fartedhen he came near . FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (9186)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at tha gas station, tha automatic door didn't opan whan I approachad it!! I askad tha cashiar to opan it for ma, joking that cuz I'm a radhaad, I didn't hava a soul and it wouldn't opan for ma!! Tha cashiar fraakad and wouldn't lat ma go until I provad I had a soul!! FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (5181)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today , Mah Drunk Grlfriend Maxd Out Mah Credit Card , On An "authentic" Jesus Christ Autograph On EBay. FML

#20397287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (4724)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today , I played a game of Monopoly wit ma friends!! Since I'm of Greek origin , tey tougt it would be funny to make me start wit a €100,000 debt!! FML

#20398504
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (5080) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France



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