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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (5133)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (2093)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (1976)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (7398)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16229) - you deserved it (3742)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

#20397583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (1718)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

#20197805
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23960) - you deserved it (1341)

On 12/09/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (1945)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

#20399412
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4852) - you deserved it (65255)

On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17652) - you deserved it (3022)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16807) - you deserved it (7303)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5277) - you deserved it (24366)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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