Sunday 9 December 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19283) - you deserved it (5054)
On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19095) - you deserved it (1478)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15483) - you deserved it (1416)
On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States
Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16591) - you deserved it (6838)
On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (2946)
On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17274) - you deserved it (1689)
On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States
Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12485) - you deserved it (3854)
On 12/04/2012 at 4:19am - animals - by SweetheartSusie (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3781) - you deserved it (49460)
On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States
Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (891)
On 12/09/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20480) - you deserved it (1928)
On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15361) - you deserved it (2265)
On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12471) - you deserved it (5269)
On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4119) - you deserved it (16998)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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