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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21784) - you deserved it (2597)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24466) - you deserved it (1662)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (4165)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23382) - you deserved it (1503)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (4099)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

#20402543
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33662) - you deserved it (3534)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm - love - by Miki (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

#20199046
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11241) - you deserved it (38114)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27842) - you deserved it (1811)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21614) - you deserved it (2297)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20251) - you deserved it (6941)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19581) - you deserved it (3736)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (8790)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26604) - you deserved it (3817)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)



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