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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (1502)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23909) - you deserved it (4096)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

#20199046
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11227) - you deserved it (38062)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21577) - you deserved it (2293)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (6933)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19553) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20729) - you deserved it (8786)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (3815)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (9185)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (4753)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (4743)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22807) - you deserved it (1742)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)



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