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Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18234) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4744) - you deserved it (25654)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5948) - you deserved it (17973)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (1628)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17528) - you deserved it (2765)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (1710)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML

#20184990
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18721) - you deserved it (829)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30am - health - by Atletic - United States (New York)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15463) - you deserved it (1841)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (1904)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17580) - you deserved it (1255)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12093) - you deserved it (14951)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13061) - you deserved it (1412)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16662) - you deserved it (8752)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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