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Wednesday 21 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32399) - you deserved it (3012)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37572) - you deserved it (4663)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29958) - you deserved it (4660)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (2529)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (4117)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (1482)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18887) - you deserved it (16392)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (3310)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (1684)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25610) - you deserved it (3065)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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