Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28032) - you deserved it (1485)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21626) - you deserved it (3384)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (1754)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17684) - you deserved it (7151)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17552) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33276) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21971) - you deserved it (5483)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (2908)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (1650)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6754) - you deserved it (22529)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20845) - you deserved it (4615)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (2771)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (4451)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: