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Saturday 17 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20930) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23849) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

#20167155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29775) - you deserved it (1836)

On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8338) - you deserved it (18954)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25519) - you deserved it (1825)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (2599)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7591) - you deserved it (24672)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (4934)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8019) - you deserved it (28817)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34699) - you deserved it (3407)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (4494)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (2725)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19338) - you deserved it (2238)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States



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