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Monday 5 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (2108)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27922) - you deserved it (3127)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (2667)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21409) - you deserved it (2801)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20931) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20219) - you deserved it (4271)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

#20159802
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (1443)

On 11/11/2012 at 11:30pm - misc - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

#20158967
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (5612)

On 11/11/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25904) - you deserved it (2621)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

#20157168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (3879)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21915) - you deserved it (7230)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19992) - you deserved it (4006)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)



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