Monday 5 November 2012 
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Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14790) - you deserved it (1807)
On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13579) - you deserved it (28847)
On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20012) - you deserved it (2528)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14692) - you deserved it (1032)
On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16164) - you deserved it (2749)
Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12836) - you deserved it (2892)
On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14266) - you deserved it (885)
On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11321) - you deserved it (1086)
On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States
Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18903) - you deserved it (2707)
On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16923) - you deserved it (1564)
On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13992) - you deserved it (2211)
On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14321) - you deserved it (3016)
On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom
Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (2598)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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