Sunday 4 November 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18222) - you deserved it (1948)
On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3942) - you deserved it (18646)
On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by justcomesnaturally (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14271) - you deserved it (887)
On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11324) - you deserved it (1086)
On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7393) - you deserved it (16085)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (3618)
On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (3251)
On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (2707)
On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18009) - you deserved it (2037)
On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16934) - you deserved it (1564)
On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (2211)
On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14024) - you deserved it (1010)
On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3884) - you deserved it (15034)
On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
