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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21826) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16903) - you deserved it (1768)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17785) - you deserved it (3988)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36729) - you deserved it (5384)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (3888)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19605) - you deserved it (1393)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

#20143873
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (4539)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19635) - you deserved it (1813)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18854) - you deserved it (1526)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5837) - you deserved it (23041)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (2633)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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