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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31799) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (2740)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (4325)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11694) - you deserved it (74758)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31096) - you deserved it (2066)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39467) - you deserved it (5676)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (3044)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML

#20148134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (4147)

On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31585) - you deserved it (2146)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (2579)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML



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