Tuesday 30 October 2012 
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Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18082) - you deserved it (2103)
On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (4357)
On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)
Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19803) - you deserved it (1193)
On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (6443)
On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (2964)
On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21569) - you deserved it (1650)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (558)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (1113)
On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7042) - you deserved it (50339)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (2762)
On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States
Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19820) - you deserved it (6126)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5963) - you deserved it (8014)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (2259)
On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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