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Sunday 28 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36737) - you deserved it (5385)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

#20143873
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28908) - you deserved it (4539)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19639) - you deserved it (1813)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

#20128171
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24197) - you deserved it (6371)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:09pm - misc - by preggersmcgee (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (4558)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18857) - you deserved it (1527)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I had a job interview for a job I've been dying to have. As I'm walking into the office, the manager says, "Aren't you my son's ex, the one he cheated on?" All I could do was sit there quietly as he laughed at me. FML

#20129479
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (2038)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:54am - work - by emilyparra1 - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5838) - you deserved it (23048)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (2633)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24476) - you deserved it (1421)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (2398)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)



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