Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13627) - you deserved it (1374)
On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15138) - you deserved it (1333)
On 05/15/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by observant (woman) - United States
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19099) - you deserved it (3345)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17575) - you deserved it (1777)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15578) - you deserved it (2353)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (4684)
On 05/14/2012 at 5:46pm - money - by Jon (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11680) - you deserved it (17925)
On 05/15/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4328) - you deserved it (17954)
On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)
Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17710) - you deserved it (177)
On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States
Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18604) - you deserved it (6402)
On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (2342)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15433) - you deserved it (2156)
On 05/07/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (2337)
On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Friday 24 May 2013
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