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Friday 27 April 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

#19536517
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18245) - you deserved it (2902)

On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

#19558069
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20172) - you deserved it (1639)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

#19569891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22553) - you deserved it (1295)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14953) - you deserved it (3082)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

#19563629
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14989) - you deserved it (5483)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18108) - you deserved it (2074)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

#19532931
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15397) - you deserved it (3315)

On 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by HAIRY (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML

#19552935
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (1742)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by HighasaCloud (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17273) - you deserved it (1283)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

#19558140
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23663) - you deserved it (2355)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (2083)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (2110)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML

#19552078
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4206) - you deserved it (33451)

On 04/30/2012 at 4:25am - intimacy - by kdehshaden (woman) - United States



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