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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Wednesday 15 February 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

#19064415 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (2669) - you deserved it (12678)

On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (11223) - you deserved it (18526)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (2950) - you deserved it (10152)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (7911) - you deserved it (614)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (4828)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (8745) - you deserved it (1291)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (10312) - you deserved it (2715)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (16396) - you deserved it (1585)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (7228) - you deserved it (682)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (5701)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (7818) - you deserved it (857)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (1765)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (3838)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States



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