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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

#20883919
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39484) - you deserved it (43275)

On 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44782) - you deserved it (5516)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64843) - you deserved it (6606)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37653) - you deserved it (2979)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44535) - you deserved it (3786)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47583) - you deserved it (13311)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56101) - you deserved it (2723)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42068) - you deserved it (2837)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58377) - you deserved it (4884)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41428) - you deserved it (3316)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45497) - you deserved it (4140)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

#20871364
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65245) - you deserved it (3846)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by brycepetrillo - United States (Florida)



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