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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I WALKED IN ON MY 14-YEAR-OLD SON APPARENTLY PRACTICING HIS ORAL SEX SKILL ON THE CROTCH OF ONE OF HIS SISTER'S BARBIE DOLLS. FML

#20765717
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51179) - you deserved it (4873)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

I was teaching my daughter how to drive . We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us . She said , ( Fuck the green car ) and spd up , colliding with it . Apparently she didn't know that would happen . FML

#20783255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52622) - you deserved it (6651)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today , I saw mah older sister 4 the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman mah college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately , our reunion was fueld by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65985) - you deserved it (5295)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

yesterday my boyfriend proposd to me at his parents house. I was overjoyd. His mom huggd me with tears in her eyes. His father,ho never really spoke before, huggd me a few hours laterhen we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass andhispering, "I can change your mind."

#20788139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68531) - you deserved it (4013)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, ( Ahh, salmon . The 'other' pink meat ), then winked suggestively at my mother . I don't think I can ever eat fish again . FML

#20763590
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59879) - you deserved it (4751)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up . After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot 4 thirty seconds, an then lay on my stomach an do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really looool part of the check-up . You're large on the hips . Lay off the Cheetos." FML

#20760331
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44411) - you deserved it (11695)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today , My Usband Received Te ( Antique ) Samurai Sword Tat E Bougt On Craigslist Wit $399.99 Of Our Money. He Only Sared My Outrage At Te Waste Of Money Wen E Opened Te Package , Only To Find A Toy Sword Along Wit A Note Saying , ( HAHA , TROLLED. ) Mega FML

#20767253
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54715) - you deserved it (9689)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by juliearis (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college looool fund to pay fir my cat to be flown to LA and audition fir a movie!! big fat FML

#20764588
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64649) - you deserved it (3759)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Taday ma nakd boyfriend walkd up to me wit ma towel around is neck an wit a ard-on... ten declard e was ( Te Penis Man ) an slappd me wit is junk. I tougt I was dating a man... not a man-cild. FML

#20782097
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49728) - you deserved it (17046)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, mah mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took mah professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68274) - you deserved it (4354)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today... my dentist dropped dead of a eart attack. Tis depressing event was made worse by te fact tat e collapsedile is ands were in my mout. FML

Today, I was babysitting a kid 4 the first time. She askd if she could watch a movie, so I downloadd Cinderella 4 her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standard of beauty an abusive relationships, an how I suck 4 liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44786) - you deserved it (7907)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today , I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stars. The physician who saw me bit his lip an said he would have to amputate my foot , an I faintd in terror. One of the nurse later told me to "leren to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49156) - you deserved it (9447)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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