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I was teaching my daughter how to drive . We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us . She said , ( Fuck the green car ) and spd up , colliding with it . Apparently she didn't know that would happen . FML
Today , I saw mah older sister 4 the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman mah college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately , our reunion was fueld by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML
yesterday my boyfriend proposd to me at his parents house. I was overjoyd. His mom huggd me with tears in her eyes. His father,ho never really spoke before, huggd me a few hours laterhen we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass andhispering, "I can change your mind."
Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, ( Ahh, salmon . The 'other' pink meat ), then winked suggestively at my mother . I don't think I can ever eat fish again . FML
Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up . After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot 4 thirty seconds, an then lay on my stomach an do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really looool part of the check-up . You're large on the hips . Lay off the Cheetos." FML
Today , My Usband Received Te ( Antique ) Samurai Sword Tat E Bougt On Craigslist Wit $399.99 Of Our Money. He Only Sared My Outrage At Te Waste Of Money Wen E Opened Te Package , Only To Find A Toy Sword Along Wit A Note Saying , ( HAHA , TROLLED. ) Mega FML
Today, I was babysitting a kid 4 the first time. She askd if she could watch a movie, so I downloadd Cinderella 4 her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standard of beauty an abusive relationships, an how I suck 4 liking the movie. FML
Today , I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stars. The physician who saw me bit his lip an said he would have to amputate my foot , an I faintd in terror. One of the nurse later told me to "leren to take a damn joke." FML
Friday 27 March 2015