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March 2013

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Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (2271)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

#20531284
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (11888)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43246) - you deserved it (5609)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45202) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

#20535997
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30200) - you deserved it (4640)

On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64570) - you deserved it (9732)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

#20536784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (14838)

On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34937) - you deserved it (2442)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

#20531170
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (3996)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
167 comments

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12995) - you deserved it (42759)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

#20550992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31369) - you deserved it (3096)

On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50890) - you deserved it (7588)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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