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March 2013

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Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31284) - you deserved it (3127)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44964) - you deserved it (2133)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

#20551039
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (2712)

On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (3863)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (3951)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35867) - you deserved it (21268)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14269) - you deserved it (23796)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML

#20537238
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32954) - you deserved it (8096)

On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31096) - you deserved it (3277)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30664) - you deserved it (2801)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (8049)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29677) - you deserved it (10844)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)



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