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February 2013

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Today..!! I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them!! I played 4 four hours straight..!! only to be interrupted by a phone call!! I didn't answer cuz my sock puppets were ( on a date ) and I didn't want to stop playing!! FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (20466)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, Ma Grandmoter Walked In On Me Watcing Porn On Ma Computer. Se Looked At Te Woman On Te Screen An Said, ( I Used To Ave Tits Like Tat, But Look Wat Aving 7 Kids Did To Tem. ) Now I'm Scarred Fir Life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (36136)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, I Met My Grlfriend's Parents For The Frst Time. As I Shook Her Father's Hand, He Squeezed With An Ungodly Amount Of Force, Leaned In With A Smile, And Murmured That My Balls Will Be The Next Thing He'll Crush If His Daughter Ever Complains About Me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (5293)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

2day I Was Babysitting, And I Had To Pee Really, Really Badly. I Couldn't Figure Out How To Get The Stupid Toilet Lock Off, And Endd Up Pissing Myself. As I Stood In The Bathroom In Tears, Their Child Screamd, "No, No, Pee-pee In The POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (8085)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

today I was draggd to a Super Bowl party. Wile tere... te ost's kid trew 3 cups of apple sauce at ma feet... wic ten explodd an coverd ma jeans. 10 minutes later... te ost's wife announcd tat se was pregnant wit twins. All I could come up wit was... "You're making more!?" big fat FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend askd me if she looool lookd fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two second away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively trid to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really ned to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (30020)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML

#20493182
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68911) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday I Was Talking To An Attractive Guy, But I Was So Nervous That I Got Tongue-tied And Then Blurted Out, "Stupid Autocorrect." FML

#20501923
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16810) - you deserved it (28186)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called mah wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56338) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echod through the meditation chamber . If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros . FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (7261)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I felt frisky... so I did my hair and puttd on make-up and some lingerie. I walkd into the living room...here my husband was playing a video game. He glancd up... said... "Oh... fir fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes fir him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (8310)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

TODAY I WENT IN TO GET MY FIRST TATTOO. I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITED WEN TE DAY CAME. LONG STORY SORT TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF ( FEMALE SEX SLAVE. ) TE FACES MY VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS. MEGA FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (44419)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was olding te door open 4 a friend . Se told me to wait a second cuz se ad to finis a text . Nerely a minute passd before I askd y se wouldn't come inside to finis typing . We were at a Cinese restaurant . Se tougt te ( No MSG ) sign meant u couldn't text inside . fat FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)



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