Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (2127)
On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (3229) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (2092)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (1794)
On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (5379)
On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (6293)
On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (5304)
On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)
Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7340) - you deserved it (40946)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (5700)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27657) - you deserved it (258)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (3647)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13638) - you deserved it (36581)
On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29636) - you deserved it (7516)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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