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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34497) - you deserved it (2580)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (4436)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, my leadership class was trying to decide who would run the kissing booth in our local carnival. Someone suggested me, to which the director replied, "We'd never make any profit with her." FML

#20511433
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33191) - you deserved it (2823)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14305) - you deserved it (43310)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

#20491987
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39152) - you deserved it (2155)

On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33032) - you deserved it (3161)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

#20501686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (7064)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (4037)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

#20509972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28101) - you deserved it (6458)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

#20500118
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34678) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28934) - you deserved it (3091)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16517) - you deserved it (57255)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14031) - you deserved it (33351)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States



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