Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimd he somehow ( fell onto ) . It was lodgd up his nostril . I'm marrying this man in a week . FML

#20508531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)

Today, mah son broke his handhen he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could . FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

TODAY... MAH BOYFRIEND AN I WERE VISITING HIS PARENTS. I'M NERVOU AROUND THEM SO HE ENCOURAGD ME TO DRINK SO I'D LOOSEN UP. I GOT SO DRUNK I TORE UP ALL THE THING IN HIS OLD ROOM I THOUGHT WERE FROM EX-GIRLFRIEND AN ACCIDENTALLY FLASHD HIS DAD MAH CROTCH. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (50432)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today , I found out mah mother has enough toys to open a sex shop . real FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

today my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convincd that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing , and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the reserech" just cuz we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (2905)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

today I walkd past a few of mah coworkers sitting outside smoking . As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughd . They immediately startd to defend their habit, an I was told to "mind mah own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke . FML

#20507668
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33616) - you deserved it (3683)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, my elderly neighbor had askd me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrivd at her house at 7:30 as agred, and she appered to have forgotten who I was. She startd lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interestd in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (2215)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing , an later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out , an thinking I was in trouble , broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32565) - you deserved it (2431)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

TODAY, I CUMMED HOME FROM A TWO-WEEK VACATION. WHEN I WALKED INTO MY HOUSE, I FOUND CAT POOP EVERYWHERE. IT TOOK ME SEVERAL HOURS TO CLEAN IT ALL UP, AND THE HOUSE STILL SMELLS TERRIBLE. THE WORST PART IS THAT I'VE NEVER OWNED A CAT IN MY LIFE. REAL FML

#20500118
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34556) - you deserved it (2135)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

TODAY I POINTD OUT TO MAH BOYFRIEND HOW VALENTINE'S DAY, MAH BIRTHDAY, AN OUR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY WERE ALL COMING UP IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. HE THEN PROMPTLY BROKE UP WITH ME. FML

#20497809
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (8219)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively sereching the place for god knows wat kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure there not poisoned. FML

#20501281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (2567)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I got my very frst yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (2639)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, ( Hey, that's mine! ) I got several drty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13095) - you deserved it (50532)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: