Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (22617)
On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21819) - you deserved it (3631)
On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (2834)
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21344) - you deserved it (4216)
On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (4454)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21250) - you deserved it (1950)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States
Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (1330)
On 01/03/2013 at 3:35pm - kids - by PrezKisame (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (5693)
On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21440) - you deserved it (10292)
On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland
Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20629) - you deserved it (1856)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22313) - you deserved it (8203)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States
Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (3011)
On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (24994)
On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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