Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9350) - you deserved it (35026)
On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (3948)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42989) - you deserved it (3349)
On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (4097)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (4826)
On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19507) - you deserved it (2885)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40531) - you deserved it (2332)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (1792)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got into an argument with my wife. We had gotten our son an Xbox and two games for his birthday. Since he was ungratefully bitching about it, I made him return it and donate the money to charity. He told her that I hit him, took his present and pawned it for beer. She doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33990) - you deserved it (2997)
On 01/30/2013 at 6:23pm - kids - by XboxDad (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (1961)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36862) - you deserved it (6130)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20669) - you deserved it (2238)
On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31949) - you deserved it (2794)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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