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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (4051)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (2420)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (9393)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11970) - you deserved it (34631)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (4883)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

#20484025
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7878) - you deserved it (41091)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29345) - you deserved it (3034)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (4526)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (5343)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML

#20470349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (8905)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35030) - you deserved it (3737)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36166) - you deserved it (6408)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)



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