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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (3541)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33346) - you deserved it (8302)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36645) - you deserved it (2599)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35874) - you deserved it (3655)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43706) - you deserved it (4336)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (2384)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (2142)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (4629)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (14552)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (5667)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35614) - you deserved it (3696)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31470) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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