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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mah dad asked me to send mah mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat . I pulled up mah mom's contact on his phone, and I found that mah mom had recently sent mah dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, ( We miss you . ) FML

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (2319)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watchd my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come ere Mollie" at his back door . I then saw my own cat run into his house . I now knowhy my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie . I guess I'm being cheatd on . FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, mah cat was too overwieght to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, an went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste an clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12406) - you deserved it (25127)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today , drunk at a party , I leaned through a window to throw up . I was outside . FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (28596) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was going to give baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard an spat them out, realizing boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31983) - you deserved it (9015)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day... grlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly... and I screamed lyk a little grl. 30 people watched... 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (21638)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I eard a teenage boy ask is friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" Tis is te future of America . FML

#20179140
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (2473)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, mah husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up mah backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the waterhen he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (1622)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her wat she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show u pain." I have no idea wat she's talking about . real FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walkd in on mah son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Taday I brought a fluorascant tuba to tha stora to maka sura I got tha corract raplacamant . Trying to charm tha saxy cashiar, I wavad tha tuba in tha air, saying ( I naad a naw light sabra, thara is no forca laft in this ona and tha Empira is attacking . ) Turns out sha'd navar haard of Star Wars . FML

#20162883
277 comments

I arrived home after a hard day's work to see mah 12-year-old sister had greased up mah 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20411) - you deserved it (2024)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (3703)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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