Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16968) - you deserved it (4629)
On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (3090)
On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20634) - you deserved it (1274)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by britchick95 (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (2164)
On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12696) - you deserved it (5797)
On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (18865)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (1557)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14312) - you deserved it (8162)
On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7043) - you deserved it (50337)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (2056)
On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -
Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20384) - you deserved it (944)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (1216)
On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (7529)
On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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