Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

#20119554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (1465)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (2199)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (1971)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

#20134119
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18017) - you deserved it (4070)

On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24275) - you deserved it (2126)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

#20122351
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (1804)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:41am - animals - by Annonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (1733)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

#20116235
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23759) - you deserved it (3477)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:43am - love - by lonelygirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (5144)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

#20099410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (20201)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

#20131082
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (4908)

On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

#20127580
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21517) - you deserved it (4925)

On 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

#20109013
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21757) - you deserved it (2005)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm - work - by yolo is for shitheads - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: