Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14024) - you deserved it (8476)
On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (3097)
On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21120) - you deserved it (1170)
On 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by useyourownbed (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14245) - you deserved it (1593)
On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (2469)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12705) - you deserved it (12708)
On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (1496)
On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13023) - you deserved it (1543)
Today, my mom turned off all internet access in our house because she thought I spent too much time on the computer. She later asked me why she couldn't get on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16370) - you deserved it (1223)
On 09/17/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by Oh_So_Klassical (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17523) - you deserved it (1833)
On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14930) - you deserved it (2443)
On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States
Today, I decided to be a gentleman and let an old lady have my seat on the bus. Before I could even get up, she sat on my lap and wouldn't get off. I got an involuntary lap dance from a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16238) - you deserved it (1113)
On 09/11/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by tdudey123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25738) - you deserved it (1405)
On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)
Monday 20 May 2013
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