Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

#20058701
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you deserved it (1580)

On 09/05/2012 at 10:06am - health - by needtoscratch (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML

#20054257
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (1469)

On 09/02/2012 at 3:41pm - work - by zoosmell pooplord - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20313) - you deserved it (1731)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

#20093311
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21019) - you deserved it (2212)

On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

#20055992
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17351) - you deserved it (4419)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by frustrated (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18115) - you deserved it (3110)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (2324)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, on our first holiday together, my boyfriend decided to spend his time reminiscing about having come here once with his ex. He then decided to go type up an email to her about it. FML

#20070220
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24606) - you deserved it (2018)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML

#20089585
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18693) - you deserved it (1477)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I announced to my family that I was going to start playing netball with my work colleagues. They all burst into fits of laughter at the thought of me doing physical activity. FML

#20061605
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17589) - you deserved it (4026)

On 09/07/2012 at 5:50am - health - by sunshinexx - Australia

Today, I was icing an injured foot with a frozen water bottle as the doctor directed me. When I was done, I picked the bottle up and immediately dropped it on the same injured foot, which is now swollen and bruised. FML

#20053572
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (4332)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:27am - health - by CC - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: