Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (1785)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15575) - you deserved it (6892)
On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States
Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16258) - you deserved it (3421)
On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (2416)
On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6406) - you deserved it (38580)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16319) - you deserved it (1788)
On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (4248)
On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20158) - you deserved it (7073)
On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31191) - you deserved it (1722)
Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5860) - you deserved it (24688)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (2556)
On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7395) - you deserved it (11220)
On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19237) - you deserved it (4487)
On 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by KatieB (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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