Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11715) - you deserved it (6658)
On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15172) - you deserved it (1517)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17817) - you deserved it (3332)
On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15598) - you deserved it (2004)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States
Today, due to nervousness, I threw up while proposing to my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26360) - you deserved it (2316)
On 04/23/2012 at 5:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (2206)
On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (1467)
On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States
Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23278) - you deserved it (6212)
On 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm - money - by kirsty - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5776) - you deserved it (45608)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11994) - you deserved it (6081)
On 04/09/2012 at 11:22am - animals - by Ew. (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18017) - you deserved it (1539)
On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29882) - you deserved it (1912)
On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (1674)
On 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm - love - by spanishsucks - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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