Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10903) - you deserved it (18804)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18158) - you deserved it (12543)
On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4294) - you deserved it (15290)
On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15916) - you deserved it (2687)
On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States
Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5212) - you deserved it (16726)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (2039)
On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)
Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6343) - you deserved it (45010)
On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States
Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (1986)
On 04/06/2012 at 9:17am - animals - by rubberduckie94 (woman) - United States
Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15251) - you deserved it (1252)
On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15020) - you deserved it (1705)
On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15393) - you deserved it (8546)
On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18073) - you deserved it (2580)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19697) - you deserved it (1209)
On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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