Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (37923) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (1180)
On 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm - misc - by neverthesame - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24582) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (2213)
On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5032) - you deserved it (22771)
On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15885) - you deserved it (8641)
On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you deserved it (4878)
On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (1763)
On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8789) - you deserved it (12368)
On 03/08/2012 at 12:47am - work - by Honey Badger (woman) - United States
Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9797) - you deserved it (38432)
On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (1304)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (2564)
On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16081) - you deserved it (3016)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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