Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (3101)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19680) - you deserved it (2859)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30569) - you deserved it (2840)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by vsshopper (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23787) - you deserved it (1837)
On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17644) - you deserved it (4445)
On 02/28/2012 at 6:55am - love - by Susan - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20198) - you deserved it (1496)
On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States
Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4475) - you deserved it (24670)
On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20155) - you deserved it (14971)
On 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Lilah - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6697) - you deserved it (16705)
On 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (4787)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9819) - you deserved it (23455)
On 02/13/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by dis_bee_leaf (woman) - Canada
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6806) - you deserved it (21586)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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