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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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February 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (1650)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

#19064415 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (2669) - you deserved it (12678)

On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (4880) - you deserved it (7282)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (11223) - you deserved it (18526)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (1897)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (2950) - you deserved it (10152)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (7911) - you deserved it (614)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (12593) - you deserved it (1279)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I received a single, handmade valentines card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (7495) - you deserved it (1603)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (10870) - you deserved it (14258)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (18095) - you deserved it (4828)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (8745) - you deserved it (1291)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341 (283)

I agree, your life sucks (10736) - you deserved it (788)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)



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