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Sunday 10 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I finally figurd out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months . It only happens whenever I do something ( sneaky ) . My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught . I'm a private investigator , an I apparently ned a new career . FML

#20500655
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31371) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States

TODAY, MAH LITTLE SISTER CHASD ME AROUND THE HOUSE WITH A MALLET, GIGGLING LIKE A MANIAC. I ENDD UP HAVING TO PIN HER TO THE GROUND, RIP THE MALLET OUT OF HER HAND AN LOCK HER IN THE BATHROOM. THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME. MY MOM STILL INSISTS IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL. FML

#20500833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (2649)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant!! My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born an only took one of the two tests!! I haven't cheatd!! He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checkd again!! FML

#20500417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (3297)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively sereching the place for god knows wat kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure there not poisoned. FML

#20501281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (2567)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

YESTERDAY, I CASUALLY MENTIOND TO MAH DAD THAT IT WAS THE CHINESE NEW YEAR YESTERDAY. HE ACCUSD ME OF INSULTING HIS INTELLIGENCE BY ( MAKING STUPID SHIT UP. ) I EXPLAIND THAT IT'S REAL, AND THAT WE JUST USE THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR, HENCE THE DIFFERENT DATES. HE RESPONDD BY GROUNDING ME. FML

#20501411
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (4076)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, really desperate to get a job, I filld out an application fir a dishwashing job!! My application got tossd out, because I'm not an economics major lyk the other guy applying fir the same job!! FML

#20500922
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27270) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today... my mom started referring to me as ( Te Bitc ). Wen I asked er wy... se said tat I ave always been a bitc... but I was never old enoug fir er to actually call me a bitc. FML

#20501686
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26324) - you deserved it (6713)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door 4 unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there 4 well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML

#20500469
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (1884)

On 02/10/2013 at 1:08am - money - by fireenginemad - United States (Washington)

TODAY , I GOT LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF SLOW DANCING WITH A GIRL I LIKD. SHE CUMMD BACK AN SAID , "SORRY , I HAD TO MAKE SURE THE GUY I REALLY LYK KNOWS THAT I DON'T LYK YOU." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37100) - you deserved it (2194)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went looool to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home an set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, an she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

#20501469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (5419)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)

Today, ma furnaca broka down, almost a mont aftar its twanty yaar warranty axprd. It would ava baan raplacd for fraa. Now I'm going to ava to taka out a loan to afford ta $4,000 raplacamant. fat FML

#20500397
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (2428)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by chillyinside - Canada



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