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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Introduced Boyfriend To Overprotective Father. My Boyfriend Started Out With, "Sir, It Is An Honor To Be Your Daughter's Sexual Partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57699) - you deserved it (10911)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watchd The Passion of the Christ with mah grlfriend . She kept scoffing at what she calld the "historical inaccuracies", an actually trid to convince me that Hitler killd Jesus . When I correctd her, she lookd at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane . FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (4826)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today , I was taking a stroll in our yard , when my mother decided it would be hilariou to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (3322)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

today I was playing Slandar, wan I caugt a glimpsa of ta Slandarman. I jumpd in my cair, latting rip a uga fart in ta procass. Nobody aard it, but only bacausa my sriaks of tarror drownd out ta sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (8622)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

2day I Found A Cup Full Of Urine In The Bathtub. No One In My Family Knows Where It Came From. This Is The Second Time It's Happend. Mega FML

#20498051
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (2416)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY I POINTD OUT TO MAH BOYFRIEND HOW VALENTINE'S DAY, MAH BIRTHDAY, AN OUR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY WERE ALL COMING UP IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. HE THEN PROMPTLY BROKE UP WITH ME. FML

#20497809
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (8219)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

TODAY, I TOLD PARENTS THAT I WAS GOING TO HANG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS. MY DAD GUFFAWED AN SAID, ( OOH, LOOK AT MARY, PRETENDING SHE HAS A SOCIAL LIFE. ) THANKS, DAD. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (3004)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

TODAY, I WAS REHEARSING 4 A SCHOOL PLAY. MY DRAMA TEACHER KEEPS CRITICISING THE PART WHERE I FAKE-TRIP, SAYING I MAKE IT LOOK TERRIBLY FAKE. DURING TODAY'S REHEARSAL, I ACTUALLY TRIPPED 4 REAL, AND SMASHED KNEECAPS AGAINST THE FLOOR WITH A SCREAM. HE STILL SAID "ACTING" SUCKED. FML

#20498655
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (2493)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccup 5 times so far. big fat FML

today at a mixed-family game of rugby my dad resorted to calling me a ( goddamned accident ) and eventually body-slamming me just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

#20498727
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY AFTER THREE AND A HALF YEARS OF WORKING DEAD-END JOBS WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE I GOT A CALL FROM A POTENTIAL EMPLOYER IN MY DEGREE FIELD WHO WANTED TO SET UP AN INTERVIEW. THE PROBLEM: THE INTERVIEW IS ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND I'M TOO BROKE TO PAY THE TRAVEL EXPENSES. FML

#20498605
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (2277)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:19pm - work - by goingnowherefast (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

#20497764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (49591)

On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)



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