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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36615) - you deserved it (3837)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39589) - you deserved it (3345)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12343) - you deserved it (48013)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (4007)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37180) - you deserved it (2752)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31809) - you deserved it (6506)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML

#20463186
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30836) - you deserved it (1791)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML

#20462065
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31446) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (3330)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14900) - you deserved it (27294)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (4105)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27061) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)



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