Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 23 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51206) - you deserved it (9253)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15455) - you deserved it (44399)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (3736)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

#20416192
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37958) - you deserved it (11076)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (7429)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36014) - you deserved it (6802)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (7189)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34302) - you deserved it (5441)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

#20417111
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (3877)

On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

#20416791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you deserved it (22564)

On 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm - misc - by you fuckhobbit (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: