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Friday 23 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriand darad ma to put on har bra an pantias an giva har a lap danca. Faaling spontanaous, I dacidad to do it. Just as I was gatting raally into it, sha told ma I was on wabcam fir all har friands. Apparantly it was a contast of who had thair boyfriand tha most whippad. Sha won. FML

#20174722
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49246) - you deserved it (14548)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah cat was too overwieght to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, an went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste an clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12406) - you deserved it (25127)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today.. . while at school.. . a bra fell out of my coat . After the initial shock.. . people startd congratulating me on finally getting a grlfriend . I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's . FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (3430)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I caught teenage daughter smoking... and trid calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad 4 her health. She replid with... ( It doesn't harm u if your under 20. ) FML

#20174862
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27576) - you deserved it (4362)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, After Aving Finally Kicked Ma Insomnia's Ass After Tree Ours, I Was Woken Up By Someting I Only Tougt Appened In Movies. Someone Ad Paid Fir A Mariaci Band To Play Fir Teir Girlfriend, Outside Ma Apartment, In Te Middle Of Te Nigt. FML

#20175516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (1394)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday... I saw cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch... I pickd it up an threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time... I realizd that not only was it not a toy... but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22834) - you deserved it (3144)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use mah phone to text mah girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to mah side of the story. fat FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (3076)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I was rejectd for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshoppd." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24420) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday I Went Out An Bougt A Copy Of Black Ops 2. I Got Ome An Opened Te Case, Only To See Te Game Disk Was Missing. Wen I Went Back To Te Store To Complain, Te Guy At Te Desk Accused Me Of Trying To Pull An Old Scam On Im. FML

#20175155
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (2324)

On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today... a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account... and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me 4 supposedly being glued to it 24/7... before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs lyk this even alive? fat FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17185) - you deserved it (2875)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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