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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (1446)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18569) - you deserved it (3429)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22921) - you deserved it (5509)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21653) - you deserved it (4271)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (5234)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (1563)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (1239)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15164) - you deserved it (3479)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18129) - you deserved it (1645)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (1331)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17895) - you deserved it (2510)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16295) - you deserved it (903)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13854) - you deserved it (2513)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)



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