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Monday 20 August 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18318) - you deserved it (1341)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

#20032910
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19155) - you deserved it (2193)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

#20032360
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15745) - you deserved it (4156)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15276) - you deserved it (3480)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

#20031656
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (6049)

On 08/20/2012 at 9:25am - misc - by Maria (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (4007)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

#20031862
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you deserved it (142)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed. I then turned into another car. FML

#20031484
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3216) - you deserved it (21451)

On 08/20/2012 at 4:55am - misc - by LOLOLOLOL (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

#20032826
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (10300)

On 08/20/2012 at 10:30pm - misc - by ThisGirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

#20031154
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15206) - you deserved it (1612)

On 08/20/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML

#20031031
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13236) - you deserved it (799)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Cottagecheeseha (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (1352)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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