Wednesday 9 May 2012 
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Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (2524)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7941) - you deserved it (24032)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18685) - you deserved it (1774)
On 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm - misc - by I Don't Exorcise - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19366) - you deserved it (1467)
On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States
Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18557) - you deserved it (1141)
On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, as I got off the bus, I saw a girl counting her change making sure she had enough for the ride. Since it was my last stop for the day, I offered my day pass to her. She replied, "Get away, freak." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21877) - you deserved it (1601)
On 05/09/2012 at 10:40am - misc - by calidreaming - Japan (Osaka)
Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14875) - you deserved it (1196)
On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12789) - you deserved it (3582)
On 05/09/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by chieftain (man) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12831) - you deserved it (3423)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19am - health - by Slowsky (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15380) - you deserved it (1291)
On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I switched cell phone service providers, hoping to upgrade. After working out the details and picking a phone in the store, I got home to find my brand new cell can't get a signal in my house. I already signed the two year contract. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15033) - you deserved it (3894)
On 05/09/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by klynn267 - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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