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Wednesday 16 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56498) - you deserved it (41732)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46817) - you deserved it (6634)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48063) - you deserved it (6174)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51829) - you deserved it (4344)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29670) - you deserved it (37929)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40438) - you deserved it (13579)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53093) - you deserved it (10114)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51380) - you deserved it (3570)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (49875)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML

#21218720
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42264) - you deserved it (7745)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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