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Wednesday 16 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if looool I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife then looked at me an giggled. FML

Today, I walked in on mah 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56784) - you deserved it (41799)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today... my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car... but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. mega FML

#21213104
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (6809)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had fir 3 yeres, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49734) - you deserved it (6390)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I trid fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later,hen I had the lawnmower running again, he bitchd me out 4 trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51991) - you deserved it (4350)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her , I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and looool got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42550) - you deserved it (14407)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah mom told me mah relationship is a joke, cuz teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorcd three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of mah nose. FML

#21213268
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53314) - you deserved it (10147)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY, I WAS AT THE LOCAL GROCERY STORE. I'VE HAD REALLY BAD GAS LATELY, AND I ACCIDENTALLY LET ONE GO WHILE STANDING IN LINE. THE WOMAN BEHIND ME THOUGHT IT WAS HER KID, AND SMACKED HIM FIR FARTING IN PUBLIC. FML

#21214127
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (39222)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I was scrubbing ta bloody aftarmat of a succassful mousa trap off of my stova wit an old tootbrus. Aftar a faw good scrubs, out of abit I puttad ta tootbrus in my moutila I turnad on ta watar. FML

TODAY, I BABYSAT A 9-YEAR-OLD KID FIR THE FIRST TIME. THE MOMENT HIS PARENTS LEFT THE HOUSE, THE LITTLE SHIT LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYES AND LET ME KNOW THAT IF I DIDN'T LET HIM DO WHATEVER HE WANTED, HE'D TELL HIS PARENTS THAT I TOUCHED HIM IN HIS "NO-NO PLACE". SUDDENLY I HATE KIDS. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52704) - you deserved it (3681)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to mah weekly AA meeting!! It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker!! Not 5 minutes into mah speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt!! FML

#21217633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21298) - you deserved it (50041)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

I looool ran into mah boyfriend of 5 years!! The weird thing was that he was supposd to be in Iran!! The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids!! FML

#21212869
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69193) - you deserved it (5461)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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