Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 29 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50605) - you deserved it (8684)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (57831)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56630) - you deserved it (5236)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47156) - you deserved it (10373)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53209) - you deserved it (4130)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51784) - you deserved it (3540)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45883) - you deserved it (2960)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54990) - you deserved it (10595)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65060) - you deserved it (7906)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62907) - you deserved it (5921)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (68042)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: