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Today, I was yelled at by a customer cuz I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 4 free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her 4 calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. mega FML
Today, husband showd up late to mother's funeral. He swaggerd in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse fir y he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I marrid a piece of shit in disguise. FML
Today,hile at boyfriend's house , I needd to use the bathroom!! I decidd to be a good girlfriend an leave the seat up for him!! He later yelld at me for putting the seat down because he needd to take a dump!!
Today , a few months after my co-worker had stoppd wearing her engagement ring , I decidd to puttd on the moves and start flrting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had did , and that she's nowhere near over him , despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred looool people already staring an laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
Today I was walking by the side of the interstate cuz my car broke down. A nice young man stoppd and askd if I was tird of walking. I said yes to which he replid "Try jogging asshole" then laughd and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
Today, I finally built up te courage to quit job . I waited an our to speak to te boss; I finally sat down wit er, and se told me I ad to be let go because I'm not "reliable enoug." Te only time I missed work wasen I ad te stomac flu . I was fred before I could even quit . FML
Today, it was raining eavily so I wore ma black ponco as I walkd to work. On te way tere I noticd an old and seemingly omeless man following me. I turnd around to confront im. He pickd up a stick and screamd "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. big fat FML
Today, I was chatting with a co-workar, and sha mantionad sha has troubla swallowing pills. I rapliad that I'm lucky, bacausa I hava naxt to no gag raflax. Half tha guys at tha othar ragistars abruptly want silant, and I'm now baing constantly hit on. FML
Friday 27 March 2015